Friday, May 14, 2010

Fallen Soldiers

I can see your pain
And the way hate breeds through action and stains the ways we treat each other
Planting seeds in our self worth
Becoming the fruit we feed each other

We carry these ideas with pride
Now with hatred in our eyes
We beat each other
Kill each other
Hurt each other

I can feel you hurting
It seeps in through your pores and leaves u wanting more
But u feel deserted

What are we living for when the world has taught us we aint nothing
Aint got nothing
Aint never gonna be nothing
So why bother?

Money can’t buy life and so we barter
An eye for an eye
So now we’re invisible
Too many thugs, drug dealers, murderers and criminals
We don’t have names
First we were numbers
then we were niggers
now we’re tomb stones on graves

And I know it aint right
Cuz our babies are dying!

I can’t fit another RIP pin on this life vest
We were all born soldiers
But we keep losing our best

So I pay my condolences, and say a prayer
Explain to children of children why daddy can’t be here
to watch you grow
Teach you all the things he never got the chance to know

Scared of our own greatness, we lay low
Stop reaching for the stars
Cuz they aren’t ours to own

And this right here aint no poem
It isn’t another sad description of the prison we’re restricted to
It’s a cry for help cuz I’m just like you
And it scares me to know my children might be too
Bound by internalized hatred
God gave us Immaculate Conception and so we raped it
Now impregnated by oppression, we raise it
Fall victim to institutions instead of fighting to change it
Waging war against each other instead of those who create it

We’re worth more but expect less
We were all born soldiers
But we keep losing our best


Black Listed

They keep us Black listed
Young, Black and Gifted
They say the good die young
Well it’s not a coincidence
This aint based on no conspiracy theory
This is based on the rates of how many young people we’ve buried
And how many we’ve lost to the system
That goggles them up and then forgets them

They got it all planned out
In order to stay up, they gotta keep us down
In order to profit there has to be loss
And in order to sell, there has to be a cost

There’s no cure to the pain caused by loss with nothing to gain

So it comes as no surprise
When we believe their lies
We become numb to goodbyes
Cuz we’ve seen so many lives get lost to the tide

The sun don’t rise
On mother’s cries
When they watch their babies die

We’ve been Black Listed
Born into a country that sells guns to our children
System bound
Strategically, they hold us down
No work to get chosen
If you’re born with brown skin
Your chains are not broken

They’ll tokenize and affirm you
Change the face of racism to hold you
In the belief that we’ll teach to our children
That we are free and that slavery doesn’t still exist through prisons
And that Obama means the abolition of oppression

Listen close and learn your lessons
The revolution is approaching and you will be tested
Learn their language
And know how to answer every question
There is no guessing
One wrong move can mean we all lose

We’ve been Black Listed
Born into a country that sells guns to our children
System bound
Strategically, they hold us down
No work to get chosen
If you’re born with brown skin
Your chains are not broken


A Father’s Love

I brought you these gifts
After all, they did start out as yours
A heart that has grown cold
Broken promises wrapped in gold
Just as they were told
And tears, 25 years old

Maybe I was too young
Or just too dumb to fully understand the significance of your absence
I knew it felt like loneliness
Like abandonment
Like the pieces of my heart that I had been missing weren’t worth filling with anyone but you
…and I was right.

Twenty five years later, nothing’s changed
I’m still the same
…Daddy’s little girl you left behind
Even time couldn’t tame this desire
This yearn for you

Love only leaves me loveless
Like an empty cup filled with air
The cup is still empty
And the vacancy’s still there.

There are plenty of guys who would love to make me theirs
But I don’t want them
I cling longingly to those who would rather hurt me than love me
Who’d rather fuck her than fuck me
I search for all of the men who are just like my daddy

Don’t you know I cried for you?!
It hurt bad!
I still cry at the remembrance of a six year old CHILD who couldn’t understand why daddy wouldn’t stay
Was never there to wipe away tears
Or chase away fears
Calm bad dreams
Or hear loud screams

Daddy, you were never there to protect me and I hated you for it
For so long that hate bred solitude
And now I live alone in my despair

Who cares, right?
There’s plenty of little girls that grow up daddy-less
Plenty of single moms who have to work 2-3 jobs in order to put clothes on their kid’s backs
Plenty of strong, Black women who have to make up for where men lack

But not me…
I was supposed to be different
I was daddy’s little girl
And nothing else in the world mattered because at the end of the day, I knew that my daddy loved me

But I was wrong
As wrong then as I am now
And nothing can ever change this pain that lives inside of me
It won’t go away
It dictates how I love him
How I long for his love more than life
Need to make him fight for me, want me, promise me he’ll never leave me
…and when he does
Just because I can, I’ll blame it all on daddy.

I’m tired of blaming myself
I’m not pretty enough
Thick enough
Smart enough
Too dark
Too depressed


YOU made me this way
Made me feel worthless
Like I wasn’t worth the stay
Worth the fight
And I’ll be alright
I’m sure

But just one more gift before you go
Here, you can take the guilt
I don’t want it anymore.

Happy Valentine’s Day Daddy


First to go are the clothes
Exposing rough skin
Dry and swollen
Bruised and calloused
Dried blood on the surface

Skin peels back to rotting flesh
There’s no blood in this body

Cut through flesh
Find heart
Not beating
Not dreaming
Not believing
Lungs breathless
No air
No deliverance
Still searching
Still desiring
Still hopeful

Pick through the rubble
Find hollow bones

Autopsy report reads…
Reason for death: LOVELESS. No further information is available....