Depression

I know this place
A familiar state
One that sadness cannot duplicate
One that happiness will not replace
It envelopes me
Dark cloud drenches me
No salvation
No patience for deliverance

Solitude in this confinement
My divine assignment
Why have thou forsaken me
With such treacherous misery
It lives inside of me
Where no external vision can see
Nor comprehend
A wound no time can ever mend

I remain fearful that my wounds are showing
My heart is heavy
Overflowing
There’s no place to dump this excess weight

My fate
That was never mine to own
Never mine to carry
In need of an annulment from this arranged marriage
Into which I’ve unwillingly married

God please help me,
To escape from this shelter of alone
It’s where I’ve built refuge
Where I feel at home

Impossible to be loved
When loving myself feels forbidden
Oh prison of despair
My sight is conflicted by blurred vision
Really I care
But it blocks out all instinction

This “feeling”
It won’t go away
So instead I succumb to a world filled with grey
And pray to God for salvation from the pain