Ex Sex

Just moments ago the world looked different
Now late night tears and lonely fears got me wishing that we didn't
Want you out of my head
Reoccurring visions instead
Of you hugging, loving and kissing me in this bed
Memories of way back when

I placed my bet
You had me thinking I was winning...
But the loss I dread
Is far greater than this prison
It’s called living
Without you
It’s the hell I’ll endure
When you’re not here anymore
And I fall victim to weak inquisition
Of what I’m still living for

For the last time
Because the last time
I said had to be the last time
And then I took you back again
One last time

Maybe we’re better off as just friends
Because every time we try
This do or die kinda love
I get trapped
In tryna prove that I’m Mrs. Right kinda love
So I take you back
And in a moment the marvel of our love outweighs fact
And experience
Or maybe it’s just the fear in us

But all I feel
And all that’s real
Are our hot bodies pressed tight
Reassuring words “it’ll be alright”
Me on top
Your tongue on my spot
Scratches on skin
The taste of your sin
So I give in
You win
You inside
Lost my pride
I guess I can take you back one more time

Yet again, regretful thoughts
Wishing I could forget you thoughts
Because I fucked up again
Sister, lover, or friend
I gave you the power to choose
And guess what?
I lose

I find myself right back at the start
But perhaps the worst part
Is that you might as well not pack
I know that you’ll be back
And I’ll still be here waiting
Patient
For that ex sex
The best sex

And everything to come next…

Perfect Love

Maybe this perfect love was too perfect
Maybe the Immaculate Conception that birthed it
Was far too much for human hands
So it spilled out of our grasp
Into puddles on the floor
Washed away by ignorant tears
Unknowing that those years meant nothing
They don’t get written into history books
Because like a crook, you stole the past
Like a thief, you took the only love that ever loved me back

Maybe this perfect love was too perfect
Or maybe I just wasn’t worth it
But you loved on me like I was the only love that mattered
When you said goodbye
That last time
That part of my existence shattered

Maybe I lived our love differently
But now what does it matter?
I was reaching for eternity
But you threw me from the ladder
Because you were too scared of perfect
Or at least that’s what I gathered
At least that’s what I convinced myself during that long journey through goodbye
But I made that trip gracefully
You took almost everything but my pride
Packed away in my suitcase, everything from love I kept
Mistakes and regret
Broken promises and lost bets
Turned around and almost lost step
When ignorance replaced fact
And I was forced to face the realization that this time you weren’t running after me
This time you weren’t coming back for me

Maybe this love was never mine to begin with
But if this isn’t perfect love then what is it?
What could possibly be worth more?
But hurt less
What do I keep looking for
Once I’ve already had the best?
Who is this prince charming I’m expected to invest in
Again
When you were my greatest investment

Maybe this perfect love was just too perfect
Maybe the devil knew we would be innovators of the trend
Foolish were we to think that destiny was ours to mend
Or maybe God took back this perfect love
Because blessings are just lent
Whatever the reason
Whoever to blame
That perfect love is resting now
Upon broken sill window pain

My love is no longer our love
Will never be the same
My greatest fear
Too devastating to bear
Our love was the only true love
I’ve lost my greatest friend
And now the world may never know perfect love again