Forced Living

I’m forcing myself to write about you

Since you’ve been gone

I can’t eat

Can’t sleep

Nothing is right without you

Can’t go on living

I don’t want to HAVE to live without you

I spend most moments in a panic

Life without you is real and I can’t stand it

No one understands it

Can’t weather this storm

Can’t do this no more

How could God close the door

On a life that was needed here more

I won’t ever accept this

As a fact of life

Or something right

Or one of God’s lessons

I’ll spend the rest of my days pretending

That you’re still here

Somewhere

Enjoying what was left

But you left before you experienced the best

I feel guilty

That I didn’t do more before you left me

But life is tricky

We know too little too late

Life is devoured before the taste

And before I know it

You’re not with me

I’m forcing myself to write about you

So here it is…

How am I supposed to tell my kids

…about you?

How can they ever know me without you?

I’m everything I am

Because of everything you were

I hate who I’ve become without you

Who's supposed to remind you of who you are

When everyone who knew the real you is gone?

The gifts you gave are immeasurable

The void you left is impossible

Now I lay hostage to your absence

No time

No rhyme or reason

Can stop this bleeding  

Or the pain from you leaving

Can’t stop the burn

I’ll never learn

To live without you

I don’t want to HAVE to live without you

So…

I’m forcing myself to write about you

Because since you’ve been gone

The nights are too long

The days are a fight

Can’t eat

Can’t sleep

Nothing is right without you

Can’t go on living

I don’t want to HAVE to live without you

This poem won’t have a happy ending

There’s no silver lining

All wounds don’t heal with time and

This is a burden I’ll carry with me

All of your sacrifice to make us happy

We never fully appreciate

What we have til it’s too late

Now that you’re gone

The faint sound of the songs you used to sing me

Live on in your memory

Strange Love

I saw you today
You passed right by me
And my breathe went away
You didn’t even say hi to me
I kept my composure
But I died inside
Because I never got closure
But I couldn’t stand the thought of you seeing me cry
So I kept walking too
Counting the ways in my head that I would let go of you
I turned back once
Quickly
Just to see if you were looking back too
Watching me watch you
But no, you stayed straight ahead
Just kept walking instead
And I wasn’t surprised
But time stood still in goodbye
An ironic metaphor for our relationship, huh?
I make all of the compromises
And you make none
Me bending backwards
You keeping it moving
Me making myself an option
That you were never choosing
One big game
That I was always losing
Me, like a lab rat
You kept testing my strength
Just to have your hypothesis proven
I was so weak for you
But only for you
What else did you expect me to do
When I was a fool
Head over heels
For a man with a gun
Who would steal my heart and then run
I’ll laugh away the pain
But it’s not funny
How somebody that knew me so well
Better than anybody
Has ever or would ever, could ever know me again
Could be so distant
Homies, lovers and friends back then
Now almost like strangers

We lost ourselves somewhere back there
Two blocks before yesterday
And I keep searching the ground for memories
But you picked them up and threw them all away
I keep trying to find us
But instead there are stains on the sidewalk
From where we murdered love
It’s never coming back to us
Just fades more with every teardrop
And I keep running back for love
But there are signs on every street corner that scream STOP!
How could I still love someone
Who would rather run than love me
Reality is, you didn’t steal my heart
You got it from me
I handed it to you sometime before hello and after goodbye
But I couldn’t stand the thought of you seeing me cry
Because I gave you more than you deserved
You never stayed true to your word
And now our love is left out on the curb
And what have I learned?
That I would still walk a thousand more miles for love
If in the end it promised to return

Current Love

I thought this was something it wasn’t
I thought you were something you weren’t
Even before our feet hit the shore
Everything we never were went away with the current

What’s left now that love has been cast away
To the deep sea of forgetfulness ?
Loneliness will be the price we’ll pay
Our love, locked deep inside of treasure chests

Forgiving ourselves before the harm has been done
Of giving up on love
Or for not fighting hard enough
We’ll forfeit everything that we could have had
If only we had more faith in us
You’ll try and get it back
When it’s far too late
And we’ve missed out on fate
Because we lost precious moments
And time was unwilling to wait
Every shared moment was a waste
You’ll try and convince me it’s not over
But it’s only for the chase

You’ll try and pull me back in
Take me by the hand
But our love stops in the sand
There’s nowhere left to go
When there’s no ground left to stand

I thought this was something it wasn’t
I thought you were something you weren’t
Even before our feet hit the shore
Everything we never were went away with the current

What’s left now that love has been cast away
To the deep sea of forgetfulness ?
Loneliness will be the price we’ll pay
Our love, locked deep inside of treasure chests

Love's Journey

Will you take my hand
And join me on this journey?
I, your woman
And you, my man
I’m sure that God himself chose you for me

The stars aligned
Just in time
To lead you to me
Waves crashed down
And angels sang out harmony
At the victory of this unity

“He who finds a wife finds a good thing…
…and obtains favor from the LORD.” (Proverbs 18:22)

So walking in accordance with His word
You searched and you found me
I, patiently waiting
Now thanking God for His graces
Giving Him praises
Because God took note of all my prayers
And covered all the bases

Like a needle on a record player
Playing our song
God didn’t miss a beat
And now I know in my heart
That I was made for you
And you for me

So…
“Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame. Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away…”
(Songs of Songs 8:6-7)

You,
I’m sure were sent from above.
We didn’t just find each other
We found the epitome of love:

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)

Through God’s lessons
We learn to strive for perfection
This love is the closest thing to God’s love
That I’ve ever been blessed with

I don’t know where this path will lead
But I know that if you’re standing there with me
At the end of love’s journey
I believe
Every one of my dreams
Would be manifested in that moment
And all of the possibilities of love

We would own it

We’ll look back knowing that we made it through the rain.
Let go of the pain
Just in time to learn that we and love are one in the same
Just as sure as salvation came,
This love, it will sustain

“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”
(1 Corinthians 13:13)

My Next Show!!!

Time Wednesday, October 26 at 7:00pm - October 27 at 12:00am

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Location The Greatest Bar
262 Friend St.
Boston, Massachusetts

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Created By Ralph Relly Rell Firmin, Mark A. Merren, Francis Pina, Roselyn B., Herby FirminShow all (5)

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More Info New Life Entertainment Presents
Quality&Soul Poetry Slam
@ The Greatest Bar (Near TD Garden) on the 4th floor
Wednesday October 26 from 7pm-12am
21+ event

Soundtrack Provided by: JaggaMovements IntL
Hosted by: Relly Rell
Live Performances by: Mark A. Merren & Swerv-O
Spoken Word by: Rich Darx, MzEnveed, Mental Enlightenment, Frankly Pina, Lady Rose, Ms Gysele, Ali and Rondy Raymond

$5 All Night-Casual DressCode
Fellas- No Hats or Timbs.......Jeans/Sneakers ok with Collared/Polo shirt or Designer-Tee.
Ladies- Classy as usual
For more info call Relly Rell @
857-334-8875 or email @ NewLifeEnt.Intl@gmail.com

Show Tomorrow!!! Our Bodies, Ourselves

Come out and show love and support and witness an awesome line up of performers at Oberon tomorrow at 7:30pm. Visit www.cluboberon.com for tickets and more info.

Love Is Enough

This poverty weakens me
Keeps me from fulfilling my God given gifts
But if not for this struggle that fuels me
My dreams would be no more than only a wish
Cast upon shooting stars
They soar through night sky
But eventually they die
Leave me vacant
But who am I to expect more from an existence
That’s lent itself as a poverty prison
For past generations of poor women before me
The seeds they’ve sown
Have grown up to offer more nutrients than ever before
But still we go hungry
Our children ask: “Mommy what will you eat?”
When the pennies we’ve scraped together still aren’t enough to make ends meet
Feeling like we’ve failed
When really it’s the world that’s claimed defeat
Sick to our stomach from life’s hunger
So we consume each other’s dreams
Devour their potential
Climb over each other
Like crabs in a barrel
Craving a solution
We all feed on this poverty pollution
We’ll starve
Malnourished
Forgetting the seeds planted for us
We’ll ignore the harvest
During disputes of who’s the poorest
We begin to waste away
To feed our spirit
We pray
Reminding ourselves to feast on love
It’ll nurture our existence
And it’s more than enough
Little did we know,
Love has always been enough

Perfect Love

Maybe this perfect love was too perfect
Maybe the Immaculate Conception that birthed it
Was far too much for human hands
So it spilled out of our grasp
Into puddles on the floor
Washed away by ignorant tears
Unknowing that those years meant nothing
They don’t get written into history books
Because like a crook, you stole the past
Like a thief, you took the only love that ever loved me back

Maybe this perfect love was too perfect
Or maybe I just wasn’t worth it
But you loved on me like I was the only love that mattered
When you said goodbye
That last time
That part of my existence shattered

Maybe I lived our love differently
But now what does it matter?
I was reaching for eternity
But you threw me from the ladder
Because you were too scared of perfect
Or at least that’s what I gathered
At least that’s what I convinced myself during that long journey through goodbye
But I made that trip gracefully
You took almost everything but my pride
Packed away in my suitcase, everything from love I kept
Mistakes and regret
Broken promises and lost bets
Turned around and almost lost step
When ignorance replaced fact
And I was forced to face the realization that this time you weren’t running after me
This time you weren’t coming back for me

Maybe this love was never mine to begin with
But if this isn’t perfect love then what is it?
What could possibly be worth more?
But hurt less
What do I keep looking for
Once I’ve already had the best?
Who is this prince charming I’m expected to invest in
Again
When you were my greatest investment

Maybe this perfect love was just too perfect
Maybe the devil knew we would be innovators of the trend
Foolish were we to think that destiny was ours to mend
Or maybe God took back this perfect love
Because blessings are just lent
Whatever the reason
Whoever to blame
That perfect love is resting now
Upon broken sill window pain

My love is no longer our love
Will never be the same
My greatest fear
Too devastating to bear
Our love was the only true love
I’ve lost my greatest friend
And now the world may never know perfect love again

Check out my feature in Alwayz Therro Magazine!

http://www.alwayztherro.com/2011/05/05/rated-next-roselyn-berry/